February 14th, 2019...I wasn't sure until Tuesday what I wanted this post to look like. It feels like NYE was just the other night. I can't believe it's already the middle of February. 2019 is just sailing by, my goodness. I've had a lot of emotions behind the holidays so far for 2019, and a bit of bitterness. I'm working through both of those things, God willing. Despite my circumstance or what season of life I'm in, I want this space of mine on the internet to be a place that empowers, a space that builds you up. I want you to know that you're not alone and that you're amazing and wonderful in every way (even on the days when you feel less than perfect). I also want this blog to be helpful. Helpful to you and anyone else you choose to share this with. Sometimes I share shoes, other times I share the things I'm trying to keep in mind. Things I've learned and am trying not to forget.
These are the things I've decided to focus on for Valentine's this years:
1. Remove toxic thinking
Gosh I am as guilty as can be with this one...anyone else?? The amount of time (it's short let me tell ya) it takes for me to go down a rabbit hole of "what if" is insane! I should really be a screen writer of some sort. The plot twists that come to mind daily are next level. I'm certain that no one else thinks of the crazy things I think about or worries about the things I worry about, six months ahead of time. I want everything to be perfect. I want to be perfect, and never make one single mistake. Impossible I know and trying to live like that can cause negative or anxious thoughts. When those thoughts come to mind I have to shake it off instead of dwelling on them. At the end of the day have you ever asked yourself "were my thoughts today more positive or negative?" Did I spend most of my day worried or was I at peace? It's impossible to live a positive life with nothing but negative thoughts. Both you and I could do a better job of getting rid of our toxic way of thinking. Don't dwell.
2. Replace lies with the truth
What is your lie? The one you tell yourself when you're being dramatic? What's that deep dark situation that you hope with all of your heart won't ever happen? What area in your life do you feel like you aren't meeting other people's expectations? Get rid of that lie and remind yourself that God is always with you and he will never leave. Your worth has already been defined and it has nothing to do with where you live, the car you drive, or how much money you have in the bank. You are loved by a KING!
3. Rejoice in all circumstances
I'm trying to remember the last time I was annoyed. Starbucks was out of the little green stopper things the other morning so my coffee spilled multiple times on the way to work. It wasn't hot by the time I sat down at my desk. I was annoyed until I realized how thankful I should be. I get to go to a fancy office every day. I have my very own car that gets me to to the coffee shop and then to that desk where I'm able to spend the day with an amazing group of people. At the beginning of the week I was down about this holiday. It took a few days for me to remember that something incredible is coming my way. This time of my life is tricky but great. I don't have to be in the same season as my friends in order to have reasons to rejoice. We must choose to see the goodness in God, others, and ourself.
Earlier today I was thinking about this chapter of life and how hard it can be. It's kind of like being in a row boat all by yourself, for over a decade. Sure I can go any direction I want, without asking for permission or talking it over with anyone else. I'm in charge and because of that there is an amazing sense of accomplishment every time this boat makes it from point A to point B. It's because of me. I got it there without any help, but good golly would be it nice to be able to take a break for a minute or two. To set down the paddle and rest without having to worry about drifting off course. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone else in this boat, to help. Preferably someone strong and easy on the eyes. Then other days I think it would just weigh me down (that's when I know I'm being dramatic).
Whatever your row boat situation is, I hope you're happy. I hope you know how much you're loved. I hope you know how incredible you are, and I hope you have people in your life to remind you of those things more than just one day in the middle of February. Happy Valentine's my friends.