I hate that question. I’ve hated it since high school. Back in high school my honest answer to that question was always met with comments like this : “you’re so lucky” or “I wish I was that small.”
I never had to worry about my weight until college. As a freshman in college I no longer played sports year round. I no longer had my Mom to make me delicious and healthy meals 3 times a day. I put on a little weight that first semester of college and ever since then it’s been an issue. My weight is something I think about no matter what the scale says.
I bought my very own scale in grad school and since then I have used it almost every single day. For 8 years I would wake up, turn on the shower and then weigh myself as I waited for the water to get hot.
I recently realized that I’m never at ease with the number. If I was 3 pounds over my “ideal weight” I would obsess about losing those 3 pounds. If I was under or at my ideal weight, I would worry about maintaining it. God forbid I weigh 10 or 15 pounds over that ideal weight. On those days I wanted to throw in the towel.
I’m in the process of moving from one part of town to another. When I move (which is quite often) everything I own goes through this process : keep, give away, or toss. As I was packing I realized that I’ve never applied the process to that scale. Somehow, after all these years, it’s remained in a category with my jewelry. It’s coming with me regardless. No questions asked.
I’m sick of weighing myself. I’m tired of letting that number define how I feel that day. I’ve decided to get rid of it. The scale will not get to live with me at the new place. Gotta say goodbye.
I’ll be able to tell where I am based on the way my clothes fit and how I feel. I won’t be completely in the dark, but I do feel a sense of freedom and it hasn’t even been a week. I’ve signed up for Orange Theory to keep myself in shape and have some sort of accountability for health and fitness.
You have to find what works for you. What worked for me for 8 years no longer feels like the right thing to do. Cheers to a new chapter. Cheers to you feeling your very best, no matter the size or the number on that scale. Cheers to dominating because you can!