I can’t think of anything that I want. Shoes, a new swimsuit, some new pants for work. Nothing sounds good today. Maybe I’m just in one of those moods. I haven’t posted anything personal in a while so I thought now was a good time to do so. Today’s topic: peace.
My grandma is one of those people who worries about everything. If there is a thunderstorm in Kansas, she will call me to make sure I’m fine. It’s a compliment I guess, that someone would worry about my wellbeing and safety. It seems a little silly or overboard, the things my grandma sometimes worries about, but I’m sure in her mind these are things worth keeping track of.
Just like my grandma, I am also one of those people who worries about everything. What to wear, what to eat. I worry about the safety of the ones I love. I worry about the unknown. I worry about the future. I like to be in control. I like plans, and knowing where I’m going and when. There are many things in life that are simply out of my control. I can try my best to force certain things and make certain decisions, but at the end of the day the Lord is always in control. I am not in the driver’s seat. This should make me happy, right? The Lord has it. He’s got this. He is the one calling the shots, he is the one making plans, and he knows every detail of every day. To top it all off, he loves me and only wants what is best for me. If all that is true, why in the world should I ever waste my time worrying? I know I shouldn’t. If I fully trusted in the Lord, I wouldn’t worry about the things that I do. Does that make me a sinner? For me, it’s a constant struggle.
How I manage it: Prayer. When something bothers me, or I start to feel afraid of what’s next I pray. I let him know how I feel and ask him to give me peace. I usually feel better after I pray. I can feel the nerves settle down and I can go back to being calm. Peace is something I chase. It’s what I want. I long for peace in my heart and in my mind. This last Sunday, a prayer of mine was answered. Something that I have been praying about for years. There were many moments where I thought “is this real?” There was relief. There was joy. There was excitement. There was peace. There were so many emotions. I didn’t want the day to end.
I hope that the next time I find myself worrying about something I can look back on last Sunday and remember that feeling of answered prayers. The feeling that the Lord is right here with me every step of the way. The feeling of love, overcome with emotion. I hope that you too can feel that type of peace. The feeling of answered prayers.